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Are you sick of all the “love is in the air” crap? Do you want a suble way of dumping your (un)significant other? Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend with a very good sense of humor? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, consider the Despair, Inc. Bittersweets for the pink-and-red holiday we all love (or hate with a passion).

They come in three collections: Dejected, Dysfunctional, and Dumped, each with up to 37 different messages, such as:
Dejected:
I MISS MY EX | PEAKED AT 17 | MAIL ORDER | TABLE FOR 1 | I CRY ON Q | U C MY BLOG? | LOSS LEADER | A FINE WHINE | MOMMY ISSUES | DIGNITY FREE | DORK MAGNET | PURE NAUSEA | WE HAD PLANS | MAIL ORDER | SETTLE 4LESS | I’M HOT INSIDE

Dysfunctional:
ANNULMENT | I BEEN CREEPIN | HE CAN LISTEN | GAME ON TV | CALL A 900# | P.S. I LUV ME | DO MY DISHES | BOOTY INFL8N | PAROLE IS UP! | AWFUL INLAWS | SUB PRIME | I WANT HALF | RETURN 2 PIT | NO FIX 4 DUMB | RATHER DRINK | MUTUAL DISGUST

Dumped sayings:
I GOT SOBER | HE FIT U FAT | U LEFT SEATUP | USED U 4 FUN | JUST A FRIEND | BACK 2 KENNEL | DORKA PHOBIC | U HAVE A BLOG | RUSSIAN BRIDE | CELEB8 THX2U | DOG IS CUTER | TRADIN YOU IN | FORGET WE MET | KISS A FROG | SHE IS 22! | HE HAS A JOB

You can even buy several boxes and combine the candy heart to create a real unforgettable Valentine’s Day for that someone you hate (At least you get 20% off when you buy 2 or more).

How much under $29.99?
A lot: $9.99 on ThinkGeek.com.