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I used to argue with people who said that all women are unsatisfied with their weight, but I have since given up. Most women are, and the minority doesn’t really count.

But, really, a magnetic cherry bakewell tart which dispenses dieting “pearls of wisdom”?! It’s called a Diet Decision Maker and I guess the point is that, if you get a craving for some fatty or sweet food, you push it and it tells you something witty that will make you reconsider. Among its lines are “Those who indulge bulge”, “A carrot cake does not count in your five a day”, “Naughty pickers wear big knickers”, “A moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips” and “When the diet gets tough, the tough get chocolate” - and none of them sound witty enough.

Also, a dieting device shaped like a CAKE?! I’m not on a diet and I’m already craving something sweet! Ugh.

How much under $29.99?
A lot: ~$9.70 on Alt-Gifts.com.