The kitchen is a scary place. Our mothers know how to navigate it with grace, never need recipes and never get food that looks like it was pre-chewed, but that’s an art they learned over the years. We need some help.

But sometimes the help gets ridiculous. It’s all fine and dandy to have specialized tools for doing every task… until you realize that you’re totally lost without them.

Take this as a guide for the terminally lazy or as a list of what useless clutter companies want to burden us with. You don’t need any of these, but you’ll want at least one.

1. The ButterMate.

It’s a tool to help you slice precise amounts of butter. Seriously. Because if you just estimate how much a tablespoon is, your cake will blow up.
Buy it here.

2. The Safe Slice Bagel Slicer.

Bagels are an extremely dangerous food, they might attack you, so they must be safely restrained. You’ve got a major problem if you can’t slice a bagel and a piece of plastic won’t solve it. This little thing called “paying attention” might help.
Buy it here.

3. The Rotato Express.

This is one for the moderately lazy (because peeling potatos is indeed boring). But almost $30 for the luxury of not wasting 10 minutes every time you want some fries? Maybe if you work in a restaurant, not in someone’s home.
Buy it here.

4. The Avo Saver.

It’s vital for your kitchen life. Because, you know, a simple piece of plastic wrap wouldn’t do the same thing.
Buy it here.

5. The Banana Holder.

Like the Avo Saver, this is indispensable in any kitchen. You can never finish fruit and never heard of plastic wrap. It’s ok, there must be a support group for you somewhere.
Buy it here.

6. The French Fry Cutter.

After peeling the potatos with the Rotato, it’s inconceivable to actually *shudder* slice them up yourself. You need a tool for that, and this is just the thing. Insert potato, press handle, presto! Now you’re probably looking for a frying pan that automatically unloads the contents on a plate, right?
Buy it here.

7. Mister Tenderizer.

Tenderizing and marinating meat is not rocket science. You need a meat tenderizer aka mallet and some water with various things in it and that’s it. No, a hand-cranked specialized tool doesn’t feature in that list.
Buy it here.

8. The Onion Chopping Goggles.

Indeed, there’s some onions that will make you weep like a baby, but exactly how many do you need to chop? Maybe a couple a week? Yeah, a pair of silly glasses is just what you need.
Buy them here..

9. The Spaghetti Doser.

It’s simple: don’t cook the whole pack of spaghetti because you can’t eat it. Experiment a little and in a few day you’ll get the quantity right. No, you don’t need any tool to measure the amount of spaghetti you throw into the pot, guesstimating is good enough.
Buy it here.

Get all these and the kitchen will be a terribly friendly place. Unfortunately, if you’re seriously dreaming of that… be careful, you might be too lazy to breathe one day.