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I’m usually a big fan of everything that comes from ThinkGeek, but today… not so much, sorry.

USB Desk Assortment and Gift Set may sound fancy, but it’s actually not that impressive. It’s got a lot of things, but none of them look too useful to me. A cup warmer (ok, might come in handy), a flexible mini task lamp (vaguely useful), a mini vacuum cleaner (which can only clean small crumbs), a pen holder with a LED light in its base (useless) and an open USB port (useful if it wasn’t 1.1).

So, 5 could-be-useful-but-there’s-better items in one. One big thing that probably takes up a quarter of your desk. At least it’s got a 50% discount.

How much under $29.99?
$14.99 on ThinkGeek.com.

I think this qualifies for the top 5 weirdest items I’ve ever seen. Beside being useless, it’s… a bit disturbing really.

The name only vaguely suggests its destination, but once you get to read the explanation, Prophopot starts making sense. It’s a pot for prophilactics, get it? Or, as the manufacturers put it, a bedside storage vessel for condoms. And it’s condom-shaped.

I could say a lot of things about this… but I’d rather not. Ok, just one: why would someone pay $30 for this? It’s only good for a prank gift, and prank gifts are not worth that much.

How much under $29.99?
A little: ~$29.5 on Scabetti.co.uk.

Via uncrate

What do you do after a breakup?
a) Find the next available guy/girl and forget about the ex
b) Wallow in self-pity for a month or two.

If you want to go for b), but are not quite sure which way of feeling sorry for yourself to choose, the After the Breakup Wheel O’ Wisdom will help you solve this dilemma. It features feelings like “angry”, “betrayed”, “stunned”, “bewildered” and lots more, so there’s plenty to choose from.

How much under $29.99?
A lot: $7.50 on PerpetualKid.com.

For those of you who can use them, sticky notes are very useful. Right? I always end up ignoring them. Time management and me don’t go very well together.

This Whenever Sticky Set was probably designed with me in mind, since it has a lot of non-specific timeframes. “Maybe tomorrow”, “Commitments are tough”, “Someday”… You know, those things you probably can’t put off forever, but are not that urgent… The things that don’t seem to fit on a regular sticky note.

Well, of course you can use blank ones too. But these are so much funnier. Maybe you’ll even notice them once in a while.

How much under $29.99?
Some: $12.99 on PerpetualKid.com.

Is salt and pepper shakers the new niche for products with useless features? We previously featured the Movers and Shakers (that is, shakers that shake themselves).

Today… the Mini Lantern Salt and Pepper Shakers. The catch: each comes with three white LED bulbs, so they can double as lighting devices. They are not really pointless, but for the very narrow range of occassions they can be used, I don’t know if they’re worth the money. I mean, who regularly throws nighttime picnics or barbecues?

How much under $29.99?
A little: $24.99 on HomeWetBar.com.

Via OhGizmo!

The most useless USB toy has been ravamped. Yes, the USB Humping Dog is back - but no longer humping anything. I still haven’t figured out how this got its popularity. Are there out there a million of people who got this as the ultimate prank gift?

Anyway, our canine friend is now in very good shape. Now dubbed USB Exercise Dog, it does sit-ups. Over and over again. Yes, I find it fascinating too. For the first 30 seconds, at least, after which I want it smash it with something. Of course, this doesn’t have any sort of flash memory either, so you can’t use it in any way except dubious entertainment.

Please don’t turn this into a new hit. Please.

How much under $29.99?
Some: $14.99 on Wowzzers.com.

Via EverythingUSB

We seem to be going from holiday to holiday… Valentine’s just passed and Easter seems to be on its way.

If you want to celebrate early (or if you’re just aiming for people staring at your car), give the Car Rabbit Ears And Tail a try. Yes, the description is totally accurate. It’s a set of ears and tail for your car. They’re pink. You’ll turn heads. The mouths will be saying “Oh my God, that idiot put bunny ears on his car!”

Then why do I find myself wanting to get a car just to be able to “wear” these?

How much under $29.99?
Some: $15.95 on WhatOnEatchCatalog.com.

Via bookofjoe

You being eco-conscious is apparently not enough anymore. Your pets have to be too. And, since Fido doesn’t actually care how his ball was manufactured, why not pay some attention to that? Since, I assume, your Fido still relies on you do to his shopping.

The RecycleBall is made from rubbery scraps left over from the manufacture of other chew toys - and, as an interesting tidbit, it appears the manufacture of the product recently moved in the USA. Rare thing indeed.

There’s not much to say about the RecycleBall since it’s just a dog toy after all, but pet-owners who want to save a planet might want to give it a go.

How much under $29.99?
Some: $12 on Branch.com.

Via cribcandy

I think everybody should know at least a little about the Periodic Table, not just Chemistry majors. Yeah, learning a bunch of elements by heart isn’t the most fun activity, but you never know when it might come in handy.

If you’re still not interested, you might buy this Periodic Table poster just because it looks so good. The catch: each of the elements is illustrated by a photograph. If you’re got a visual memory, that might make it easier for you to remember each element. If not, the numerous pictures might at least make you give it a thourough inspection after taping it to your wall. Plus it will look cool and make you seem smart.

How much under $29.99?
A little: $25 for the 22″ x 44″ version on TheodoreGray.com.

Via bookofjoe

“Guns don’t kill people…” and all that? This gun couldn’t kill anyone - but it could brighten up someone’s day.

The Glitter Gun is not lethal - it only shoots confetti. But you might find your get-togethers would be dead without it.. Ok, I’m exagerating, but (speaking as someone who’s never seen proper confetti falling on her) I think some glitter can make a party much more fun than anything. This toy is cheap, get more and try to reenact a shoot-out like in the westerns! It might be too bulky to draw like Billy the Kid, but the “bullets” are cooler.

How much under $29.99?
A lot: ~$8 on DrinkStuff.com.

Via OhGizmo!