There’s not much need to explain this t-shirt… We all know the stories: prison means no women, someone drops the soap…

Well, if you ever plan to commit a crime, maybe it’s time to start wearing this. The Inmates for Liquid Soap t-shirt is striped, just like prison clothes, and doesn’t ask for much. Unfortunately it will probably only get the occasional chuckle in the street, not any action. Liquid soap is more expensive.

The moral: try not to end up in jail.

How much under $29.99?
A little: $25 on ClothMoth.com.

Via Tcritic

Few people really enjoy formal dinners. There’s some who like dressing up and socializing like/with the high class, but most of us normal people see them as an uncomfortable or awkward situation. If you’re used to hanging around in your jeans and a t-shirt, having to wear a suit or an evening dress might make you feel like a fish out of the water.

The Dress For Dinner Napkins are not an alternative for a tie. Nope, you won’t get away with something like this at a real fancy dinner, but they are a very cool way of poking fun at such occasions. You can wear the most raggedy t-shirt in your wardrobe… but hey, it’s a tie, it’s elegant! Right?

And you can even show your concern about apperance by not wearing the same tie every night: there’s five designs to choose from.

How much under $29.99?
A lot: $5.95 on SpoonSisters.com.

Via Fosfor

Kiss the cook? Well, not a bad idea if you feel like it, but aprons with that text are way too cliche… True geeks need something more representative of their way of life.

And seeing as it’s food meets internet age, what can be more appropriate than an OMGWTFBBQ Apron? Anyone who’s spent a significate amount of time online can recognize this almost legendary tongue-in-cheek exclamation – and mmm, barbecue.

Although this won’t magically give you special cooking skills, come on, it’s a barbecue, not rocket science. You should at least be able to grill something and not put your apron to shame.

How much under $29.99?
Some: $19.99 on ThinkGeek.com.

I enjoyed my graduation ceremony, although I don’t think graduating was so much of a big deal. But the silly cap… good during the event, never to be worn again.

This being sad, I hope I never see someone wear one of these Graduate Hats. While a mortarboard belongs in a certain ceremony, this… thing is just stupid. It might make a decent graduation prank gift, but the poor person would have to cut off its tassel to maybe wear it without embarassment… though I doubt anyone could walk around with “graduate” on his/her head and not feel embarassed.

And, if you feel you have to tell the world you finished university, you have a self-confidence problem.

How much under $29.99?
Some: $19.95 on WhatOnEarthCatalog.com.

Via FashionablyGeek

Some geeky clothes are cool. Most people won’t get the point, a few will and they’ll maybe admire you, but at least you won’t look stupid. But some of them are just too much…

Take the Wolverine – Blades Logo Leather Belt. I don’t really like the X-Men, but I’ve seen some tasteful merchandise. This… well, let’s just say that you could get a date with a fan of the female variety, but the rest of the XX population will keep well away from you. Really, the claws weren’t enough and they had to write “Wolverine” on it?

How much under $29.99?
A little: $24 on OldGlory.com.

Via FashionablyGeek

How can you resist seeing a t-shirt with something written on it and not reading it? I can’t. And I refuse to buy clothes with gibberish on them or misspellings, because I’m just like that.

I am quite taken with the I Want To Be Friends t-shirt. It’s not funny (like the text itself states), but it’s smart. And a great conversation starter (again, like it says on it). If a t-shirt says that the owner wants to be friends with you, he won’t mind you reading it, right? Then you’d giggle and you’d get talking. Random conversations on the street are among the best things in life.

How much under $29.99?
Some: $15 on Threadless.com.

Oh boy, summer is definitely here. You step out and instantly feel you’re meeeelting… Any solution to keep cool is fascinating right now.

The Insulated Evaporative Cooling Cap is one unusual idea. It looks just like a regular cap, but you are supposed to wear it wet. Which surprisingly doesn’t mean your head will get wet – just cool. The secret is a system called Hydroweave, that combines hydrophilic (water-attracting) and hydrophobic (water-rejecting) fibers in a three-layer fabric which conducts body heat upwards, retaining the cool water which evaporates slowly. Your head and hair will stay dry at all times, because the cap is lined with an impermeable layer.

I have to admit that I think the idea is brilliant. One of the most pleasant sensations is having a cool head when it’s hot outside, but my method (wetting my hair) has one disadvantage: hair gets dry in no time.

How much under $29.99?
A little: $24.95 on Hammacher-Schlemmer.com.

Via Gizmodo

I’m not a big fan of toilet humor, because it usually ends up being disgusting, not funny, but the What Would McGyver Do? t-shirt was great. Hmm, could we be seeing a trend in tasteful (no pun intended) toilet imagery?

Well, it’s probably not a trend (yet?), but the Self-Sufficient t-shirt is another potty joke I find very cool (I was about to say funny, but it’s not laugh-out-loud material, it’s just understated humor). So, perks of being a mummy, #231: You won’t ever run out of toilet paper.

Of course, if you’re a mummy it means you already died, and maybe some crafty ancient Egyptian doctor took out your guts, so you won’t ever need toilet paper again. But that’s just a technicality.

How much under $29.99?
Some: $20 on Threadless.com.

I’ve always had a soft spot for “All I got was a lousy t-shirt” t-shirts. I don’t know why, since usually they look pretty lame when actually worn…

But I think the twist on the Mom & Dad Went Shoplifting t-shirt makes it much cooler than the “regular” lousy t-shirts. The text reads: “My mom & dad went shoplifting and all I got was this lousy t-shirt; which is really weird, I mean… why would they even stock a shirt like this? It’s just asking for trouble.” And I love the humor. And t-shirts that talk at you.

And there’s a bonus for the guys: if you meet a girl wearing one of these, the long text will give you an excuse to stare at her boobs.

How much under $29.99?
Some: $18 on TorsoPants.com.

I am going to let my personal opinions out of this one, because religion is a touchy subject for many people. But the t-shirt was too cool not to feature.

“Atheist” is usually associated with the idea of “bad”, so the colorful swirly pattern of the Atheists are Nice t-shirt is an irony I love. It looks like a cute teenager tee, something that would go with a Powerpuff Girls message… and then you see the text. I am sure this is going to offend someone, somewhere, and that idea alone makes me want one. Sometimes I think only the mention of the word “atheist” pisses certain people off.

Available in a lot of different t-shirt models; I’m linking to the girlie version just because we need more cool casual clothes that let people see there is a woman inside.

How much under $29.99?
A little: $24.99 on AgnosTees.com.