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Some people seem to think that once you have a baby you suddenly turn into a different person, a martyr for your child and all that blah. All right, I am sure most mothers would do anything for their baby, but implying they shouldn’t have a life of their own is exaggerated.

So, even though the Milkscreen may appear to some as a tool for irresponsible mothers, I think that, on the contrary, it can be used to be more responsible. We’ve established that a mother can have fun, and fun sometimes involves drinking (and I don’t mean passing out drunk, I’m talking about just a couple of beers or glasses of wine, for example). Even if you’re careful, don’t breasfeed immediately after drinking, throw out the first batch of milk etc… better safe than sorry, right?

The Milkscreen works more or less like a pregnancy test: you put a bit of milk on a pad, wait two minutes and use the color card to determine if you can feed the milk to your baby or not. Pretty straightforward and simple to use, I’d say.

How much under $29.99?
Some: $19.99 on ToysRUs.com.

Via Gizmodo

Listening to the same lullaby for the 100th time must drive a parent nuts. Yeah, the songs are cute and they make your adorable screaming machine fall asleep, but they do get on your nerves. Why listen to “Hush Little Baby” for the 101th time when you would rather hear “Enter Sandman”? (Hey, it does have a lullaby in it! Sort of…)

Well, there’s a way to get the best of both worlds now. Almost. Rockabye Baby! is a collection of CDs with lullabies… but not the ordinary kind. Coldplay, Led Zeppelin, Metallica, Nirvana, The Beatles and U2 get reorchestrated into tunes to put anyone to sleep (although, arguably, regular Coldplay music can do that too). “Heavy metal lullabies?!” That’s what I thought to, but then I listened to the samples from here and they don’t sound half bad. “Enter Sandman” is, of course, included. And, after a friend introduced me to bluegrass Metallica covers, this actually sounds normal.

If you have friends (or you are) into unusual covers, these could also make a nice weird present for an adult.

How much under $29.99?
A little: ~$25.30 on Firebox.com.

If someone tells me they like sitting near a crying baby, I won’t believe them. I am sure even parents get annoyed at their children’s crying, even though they love them. So the “Congratulations! You get to sit near me.” t-shirt is extremely sadistic.

Just imagine… Boarding an international flight. Full plane. You look for your seat and… you’re right next to the young parents with the 6-months old baby. Do I hear a groan? The poor people know the whole plane will hate them once the baby starts crying and there is nothing they can do. However, tackling the matter first and dressing their kid up in a funny t-shirt might make some people stop at annoyance, not outright hate.

How much under $29.99?
A little: $20-$24 for various styles and sizes on MilkBomb.com.

Via OhGizmo!

If we could remember things from when we were very young, we would probably cringe. Since babies can’t express opinions, parents are free to do whatever they please, and part of this consists of dressing them up in the most embarassing costumes.

But, fortunately for all parties involves, we can’t remember what happened when we were 9 months old. Parents, feel free to dress your little girl or boy in one of the Super Snapsuits. They come in blue with the text “I’m super” and pink with the text “Super cute”, each with a superhero-like cape. It might not give them superpowers, but they are sure to become the new star of the playground, while all the other parents with dubious fashion tastes will come coochie-coo them and tell you how adorable your baby is in that cute little suit.

How much under $29.99?
A little: $29.10 on Firebox.com.

One of the most frustrating experiences is having to wrestle more bags than I can easily carry. I don’t like to feel trapped, I want to move freely. I can imagine that a baby makes things twice as complicated.

But that’s life… you can just pack lighter. Or you can go for the creepy Tote-a-Tot. This device is basically a system of straps to connect a rolling carry-on to a baby’s car seat and it seems very unsafe to me. I get stressed out when I can’t see my cat, how could a woman leave her baby out of sight? You would be dragging your baby behind you, so someone could kidnap him/her and you might not notice. Or, to go into more mundane aspects, what happens when they drop their pacifier or toys? It’s bound to happen.

I’d like to hear some opinion from mums, I just can’t see this as a good idea.

How much under $29.99?
Exactly $29.95 on ToteaTot.com.

Via OhGizmo!

You have to admit: baby clothes are not aimed to appeal to the babies; they’re aimed at the parents. Babies only care about comfort, it’s the parents who look at the design.

I’m sure there will be a lot of parents who will love the idea behind the Mysterio Baby Fortune Telling Tees. Personally, I think the design is ugly; but that’s not the selling point. When you order one of these, you can only specify the sex of the child. You will receive a t-shirt in a sealed bag with Swami Mysterio’s prediction about your baby’s future: will she be a TV presenter or a shoe deisgner? will he be a property tycoon? There’s no way of knowing until you ask Mysterio…

How much under $29.99?
Some: ~$19.40 on Firebox.com.

Objects in the form of babies or baby body parts are creepy… I think the fact that they’re not only humans, but babies, makes them disturbing. For example, a few weeks ago we featured this Baby head planter, which would scare me if I saw it at night.

But that’s nothing compared to the Handsoap set. That’s handmade soap shaped like baby hands. Lots of tiny baby hands. They come in different skin colors (no racism here!) and they range in size from 1/2” to 2”. Each pack has about 100g, which means you’ll get 10 or so little hands.

If you look at it from an artistic point of view, it’s pretty impressive. Could you sculpt a 1/2″ hand in soap? But then I remember… they’re severed baby hands. Plus, it’s probably pretty uncomfortable to wash with tiny pieces of soap.

How much under $29.99?
Some: $17 on Foliage.MyShopify.com.

Via bookofjoe

Sturgeon’s Law says that ninety percent of everything is crap, so it’s no wonder that so much of the stuff you can find on the internet is of… dubious quality. Some things are so bad they’re funny. Some are just disturbing.

Example: a Baby Head Planter. A planter. Shaped like a baby’s head. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this? It’s handmade and it’s very realistic, so I have to agree the artist did a good job. But… a planter?! Flowers growing out of a ceramic baby’s head? I’m sorry, but that’s way too weird for me.

How much under $29.99?
A little: $25.00 on Etsy.com.

Via cribcandy

You have to admit kids don’t care what they wear. I guess most of them would be confortable in a sack, given that it was soft enough. But parents want their kid to look cute or girly or geeky or whatever strikes their fancy on a given day - which I can understand, you want to like to look at your baby.

The Drooly Bib fits under cute and funny. This is acknowledging that yes, it is a baby, and babies drool. Why not drool in style? It’s also waterproof, so baby stays funny and dry.

How much under $29.99?
A lot: $9.99 on wrybaby.com.

Via FashionablyGeek