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Sturgeon’s Law says that ninety percent of everything is crap, so it’s no wonder that so much of the stuff you can find on the internet is of… dubious quality. Some things are so bad they’re funny. Some are just disturbing.

Example: a Baby Head Planter. A planter. Shaped like a baby’s head. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this? It’s handmade and it’s very realistic, so I have to agree the artist did a good job. But… a planter?! Flowers growing out of a ceramic baby’s head? I’m sorry, but that’s way too weird for me.

How much under $29.99?
A little: $25.00 on Etsy.com.

Via cribcandy

This is a “how NOT to” guide. Or perhaps a “how to dump someone in the nastiest way possible” guide. Choose one, depending on what you plan for this Valentine’s Day. The following products are the stupidest presents for Valentine’s Day we could find.

9. Beer Mug of Blooms. The only thing this says is “Honey, I went out to buy you the most beautiful bouquet for this special day, but I got lost and ended up in the pub.” Not the message you want to send on Valentine’s.

8. Love Stinks Soap Set. I have to admit it’s a funny idea (love stinks, let’s wash it off with a nice soap), but the whole point of this holiday is that love is great. Save this for when you want to dump him/her.

7. Talking Rose. Who invents these things? A plastic rose with a microphone? A fake flower and a recording can never replace a real one and a passionate “I love you”. Save your money for better things.

6. USB Pig Radio. Adorable, sure. But guys, pink is not always a sign that the product is made for Valentine’s. She’ll only think you’re saying she’s fat like a pig.

5. Valentine Heart Toilet Paper. Only for girls who think Valentine’s is overrated. Put this in the bathroom on your girlfriend’s favourite day and prepare to get the silent treatment.

4. Halitosis Detector (bad breath, that is). “My love, your breath stinks.” No. Never. Do not even think about it.

3. “Dumped” Despair Inc. Bitersweets. If you’re feeling real mean, wrap the box in a nice paper and watched her stunned face as she reads the messages on the seemingly-harmless candy hearts.

2. Diet Decision Maker magnet. The USB pig might have suggested she’s fat, this one is outright saying it. Guaranteed to get you dumped.

1. And, last but definitely not least… Breast Suspenders. I hope I don’t have to spell this out for you. NO.

Girls like flowers. Admittedly, there are a few exceptions, but the rule is valid in most cases. The only thing: make sure you get her favorite flowers; red roses are nice, but so cliché.

If you have a girl with a real good sense of humor, you could give her a Beer Mug of Blooms. But make sure that she’d appreciate such a gift before hand. You don’t want your head to have to have a too-close encounter with said mug…

Maybe this would be more appropriate as a funny present from a girl to a beer-loving guy. But either way, $29.99 for a novelty gift with no other use… I say too much.

How much under $29.99?
Exactly $29.99 on 1800Flowers.com.

Via NerdApproved