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Caffeine… it’s what wakes us in the morning and keeps us going through the day. But I don’t think coffee drinkers can conceive there are people who don’t like their lovely brew. Sorry, coffee doesn’t taste good. It can be improved with milk and sugar, but that’s just another way of making it not taste like coffee anymore. So we need more caffeine sources without the eeky taste.

I wouldn’t have thought of it, but food can be one… If said food is Buzz Strong’s Caffeinated Cookies. Doesn’t that sound good already? And what if I add they are chocolate chip cookies made with Brazilian coffee, Tahitian vanilla, and Swiss dark and white chocolate chips? I see signs of drooling…

Four cookies are equal to one cup of coffee and one pack has 12 cookies, so you do the math. Not bad, and tasty too!

How much under $29.99?
A lot: $4.99 on ThinkGeek.com.

Even night owls may have occasional problems with staying up late. And (amazing as it might sound to some) there are people who don’t like the taste of coffee.

The Engobi Caffeinated Snack Crisps are the best things since energy drinks. They have two of the best things ever: caffeine and cinnamon, and they’re also food (sort of). And in case you were wondering, they don’t taste bitter at all.

One bag has almost as much caffeine as two Red Bulls, so be careful how much you eat - you don’t want to be bouncing around at 3 a.m. with too much energy to do anything productive. And since you’ve got 24 bags in each case… that’s a lot of caffeine.

How much under $29.99?
A little: $24.99 on ThinkGeek.com.

Kiss the cook? Well, not a bad idea if you feel like it, but aprons with that text are way too cliche… True geeks need something more representative of their way of life.

And seeing as it’s food meets internet age, what can be more appropriate than an OMGWTFBBQ Apron? Anyone who’s spent a significate amount of time online can recognize this almost legendary tongue-in-cheek exclamation - and mmm, barbecue.

Although this won’t magically give you special cooking skills, come on, it’s a barbecue, not rocket science. You should at least be able to grill something and not put your apron to shame.

How much under $29.99?
Some: $19.99 on ThinkGeek.com.

Most people wouldn’t want to do experiments on themselves… but there’s always a couple of curious cats. And I’m tempted to be one of them… at least it looks harmless.

The Miracle Fruit Tablets are supposed to make sour things taste sweet. Lemons are supposed to taste like toffee, vinegar like treacle, and a Guiness will seem a stouty, chocolately shake. Exactly why you would want to do this I don’t know, but it made me very curious. It could make for a very fun party, at least. Or you could give them to your guests when you messed up the food, then blame all the funny tastes on the poor tablets…

How much under $29.99?
Some: $19.80 on Firebox.com.

Some slightly disturbing cooking ingredients for today.

From what I’ve seen, this is mostly a female problem, but I bet anyone who’s ever had to cook for him/herself had at least one moment of “I have no idea what to make today”. I’m here with a suggestion - and I’m sure most of you will greet it with a hearty “wtf”. It’s Bacon Salt - because “Everything should taste like bacon”, as the manufacturers put it. It comes in 4 flavors (flavored salt with four flavors, yes): Original, Hickory, Peppered and Natural.

A weird idea, I must say, but despite that… strangely appealing. It might just be my hunger, but bacon does taste great, and getting the taste without the fat… mmmm.

How much under $29.99?
A lot: $4.49 for one flavor on BaconSalt.com.

Via uncrate

[April Fools]
This is the one prank product I wish existed: Spazztroids - Caffeinated Breakfast Cereal. I don’t like the taste of coffee, but caffeine to keep me awake is good once in a while. And I love cereal for breakfast. It’s a match made in heaven! A healthy meal AND a way to function at 7 a.m.? Brilliant.

Someone needs to start making this for real. With a better name.

How much under $29.99?
A lot: $4.99 on ThinkGeek.com.

I’m a bit puzzled as to how much people can eat (and think it’s normal). My stomach pretty much tells me “stop eating or you’ll not like the results” after a medium-sized meal, but, well, I guess some people don’t have this close a relationship with their stomachs.

For them, there’s the Portion Pals. Which means 5 plastic discs (one each for meat, fish, chicken, bread and dessert) designed to help you measure your food.

I have a few questions. How do you cut chicken in a rectangular shape? What if your steak is 1 inch thick? What if a dessert is a cake full of chocolate and sugar and one is a biscuit? I fail to the how these can be useful. I refuse to think people are this stupid. If you’re going to diet, do it by weighing your food properly. If you’re not, just think before you eat!

How much under $29.99?
Some: $17.95 on Solutions.com.

Via OhGizmo!

If you have to carry a lunch box with you every day, you might as well get a fun one.

For vegetarians and meat-lovers alike, the Hamburger Shaped Lunch Box! Some heads will turn when you take out a huge plastic hamburger, but they’ll probably be impressed with the versatility of this apparently silly item: remove each layer and you’ll find three compartments, one for a sandwhich, one for a snack and one for a desert; you also get a fork and a spoon.

How much under $29.99?
A lot: $9.99 on ShopHappyTrails.com.

Via BoingBoing

I shouldn’t be writing about food-related things when I’m so hungry. But damn, this device intrigues me.

It’s a 4-in-1 Hot Dog Maker which includes a hot dog maker (duh), a steamer, an egg boiler and a popcorn maker. It doesn’t use fat or oil, so you don’t have to worry for your health when using it, and it just plugs into an outlet.

It sounds a bit stupid but… it’s strangely attractive. What if I get a sudden urge for a hot dog one day and I can’t buy one anywhere? I could make my own with this!
(If you want to get it, try now, it’s on sale.)

How much under $29.99?
A little: $29.48 on Spilsbury.com.

Via bookofjoe

For many of you, lunch time at work is a time dedicated to detective work, to find out the answer to that all-important question: Who stole my food?! (My tip: work from home and the only perpetrator can be the cat).

Alas, working from home is still not an widespread option, so you have to suffer in silence (or angry post-it notes). I’d like to say I’ve found a miracle solution, but unfortunately that’s not the case. However…

You can try scaring them with Atomic Food Containers. You get three plastic bowls & lids labeled “Nuclear Waste,” “Biodangerous,” and “Experimental Meal”, which… okay, will probably only make your co-workers laugh, but maybe they’ll appreciate the humor and leave your food alone.

How much under $29.99?
Some: $12.95 on WhatOnEarthCatalog.com.

Via bookofjoe