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We all know what April 1st means - we’ve been planning the pranks for months in advance, or fear being the victim, or are waiting eagerly to see what our co-workers come up with. This Top 5 April Fools’ Pranks under $30 is for everyone. Yes, even the victims. If you’re forewarned you won’t fall for it if the mouse starts moving (aparently) on its own.

5. If you’re not feeling particularly evil, you can just give someone a little scare. They’ll realize soon enough that the Fake Parking Tickets won’t get them a fine (but they’ll probably be pissed off if they read the whole insulting message…)

4. If you’re into childish pranks, the Revenge Toilet Paper is for you. Just replace the existing roll with this and snicker away when the poor victim strolls out of the bathroom and tells the tale of the mysterious paper which doesn’t tear. One of these in every company toilet stall would wreak a nice amount of havoc - at least until enough people realize there’s something wrong.

3. But my favorite type of prank involves more technology than these first two. For example, the Mouse Jiggler. You only have to plug it into an USB port and it will start to randomly move the mouse pointer. Since most of us are so dependant on our computers, seeing them apparently go crazy can be a very distressing experience. It’s up to the prankster to decide when to end the torture and reveal the trickery involved… (Of course, s/he can also become an office hero by “fixing” the “malfunctioning” computer with his/her 1337 skills.)

2. If the designated victim is a couch potato with an unhealthy interest in soap operas, Jerry Springer or football… well, they deserve it, right? The Micro Spy Remote makes it easy to play with their nerves a little, because it allows you to control the TV. Turn it off, change the channel, mute it… The sky’s the limit. Or the patience of the victim. If you’re seen barely controlling your laughter, they will know something’s wrong.
(Alternately, do this in a bar. When a game’s on. You’ll be more difficult to spot and you’ll annoy more people.)

1. Since the office is where we spend most of our time, number 1 is another gadget for computer-related madness. The Phantom Keystroker uses an USB port and makes the user’s mouse and/or keyboard go insane. Random cursor moves and gibberish text will have the poor victim feel like s/he’s the victim of a virus or an electronic ghost.

“Don’t get mad, get even” (beside being a pretty cool Aerosmith song) is sometimes a good idea. For example, if someone pulls a toilet prank on you. Something maybe involving some Ex-Lax and the mysterious absence of any toilet paper. Payback time, but it has to be something different. The prankster will be sure to check the availability of paper on every ocassion.

The perfect counter-prank involves the presence of toilet paper. What’s the catch? It’s a special kind. The Revenge Toilet Paper cannot be teared, so the victim will find him or herself with a large amount of paper s/he cannot use.

All’s fair in love and war, right? Just watch out for the counter-counter-prank.

How much under $29.99?
A lot: $8.89 on Amazon.com
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This is a “how NOT to” guide. Or perhaps a “how to dump someone in the nastiest way possible” guide. Choose one, depending on what you plan for this Valentine’s Day. The following products are the stupidest presents for Valentine’s Day we could find.

9. Beer Mug of Blooms. The only thing this says is “Honey, I went out to buy you the most beautiful bouquet for this special day, but I got lost and ended up in the pub.” Not the message you want to send on Valentine’s.

8. Love Stinks Soap Set. I have to admit it’s a funny idea (love stinks, let’s wash it off with a nice soap), but the whole point of this holiday is that love is great. Save this for when you want to dump him/her.

7. Talking Rose. Who invents these things? A plastic rose with a microphone? A fake flower and a recording can never replace a real one and a passionate “I love you”. Save your money for better things.

6. USB Pig Radio. Adorable, sure. But guys, pink is not always a sign that the product is made for Valentine’s. She’ll only think you’re saying she’s fat like a pig.

5. Valentine Heart Toilet Paper. Only for girls who think Valentine’s is overrated. Put this in the bathroom on your girlfriend’s favourite day and prepare to get the silent treatment.

4. Halitosis Detector (bad breath, that is). “My love, your breath stinks.” No. Never. Do not even think about it.

3. “Dumped” Despair Inc. Bitersweets. If you’re feeling real mean, wrap the box in a nice paper and watched her stunned face as she reads the messages on the seemingly-harmless candy hearts.

2. Diet Decision Maker magnet. The USB pig might have suggested she’s fat, this one is outright saying it. Guaranteed to get you dumped.

1. And, last but definitely not least… Breast Suspenders. I hope I don’t have to spell this out for you. NO.